Am I Too Broken To Mend – Poetry and Music

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Fractures from falling
Invisible pain
Counting the minutes
Like drops in the rain
It runs down my body
Soothing my skin
Gathers the heartbeats
Holding them in

Imagine forever
Time without rest
The passing of memories
My hand on my breast
Feeling my heartbeat
Wanting to end
I’m broken in pieces
Too many to mend?

You get back what you give
No more, nothing less
Trace the wound with your finger
A tiny caress
Time doesn’t linger
Waiting to heal
The pieces of you
That forgot how to heal

 

This is the music and poetry for the latest chapter in my book, “Inside The Forbidden Outside”, an awesome and huge project, which those of you who have followed me already know. Those of you who don’t . . .

I’m in the second draft, although some chapters have been through more than that as I have learned more about the art of writing. Writing blog posts is a completely different ballgame. The first draft was more like a book of blog posts than a creative nonfiction story about a man inn prison as he comes to terms with his life and how he got there. You can read a few chapters from the book at my other blog: My Name is Jamie

You can hear all of the music and music videos completed so far at my website sonniquick.net. Join my mailing list at the top of that page to hear about new music.

This book has a piano soundtrack with song titles that match chapter titles. There are also music videos and poetry. Consequently it has taken 3 years to get this far. This post has the music and poetry. The chapter is half completed and the video hasn’t been stated. When I recorded this piece of improv – all of my music is improv – what came out took the breath out of me. I start with an emotion. The music just comes out in response to that emotion.

The Only Thing in Your Way is Doubt

There is more on this blog post than a music video. Some people will even click “like” but never go to the post.

 

This is my latest music video. I put it on YouTube a few days ago. The music was recorded about 18 months ago. There will be other videos made from previous recordings made before I started making videos.  If you like it PLEASE use the YouTube symbol or go to my YouTube channel to like it or leave comments. Share. Help me push this project forward. The success will help Jamie when he gets out of prison. Half of the profit from sales will go to help him have a new start in life.  He deserves that after what our justice system has done to him since he was 16. Today he is 35. He is scheduled for release in 2023.

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This music, like most of the rest is for my book, Inside The Forbidden Outside. which is in the second draft. This is taken quite awhile to do because a chapter is not a chapter when adding music and sometime poetry to go with the title of the chapter. I can see in my head where this is going but it takes time to do it all ( and take care of my very active, headstrong grandchildren)

I’ve been bouncing back and forth between Pa and The Fl Keys. Less than a week ago or so I finally got a piano for the Fl house, a used piano that is an earlier model of my other one that records exactly the same with all the same sounds ( and 1/10th the cost!) So the creativity is turned on and new music is being made.

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You are what you think.  You are who you think.  You accomplish what you believe you can.  The only thing standing in your way is doubt.

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I now have T-shirts and a totebag for sale to help raise funds. For ten years I have covered all of his expenses, but with promotion of the book and music, my disability check doesn’t cover it all and credit card debt is climbing.   I send him food boxes, money for hygiene and other items at the commissary, books, magazines and stamps. There is also a donate button if you would rather give a little money – anything from $1 up is appreciated more than you know. In the credits of the book will be listed every person who helped in any capacity. so please, help me help him. Go to my other blog to read chapters from the book and to learn more of what prisons really are – not what they show you on TV programs. At the link below you can also read some of his backstory.

 

Purchase T-shirts, totebag and donate at this blog post

Thank you

 

 

Is It Rain Or Tears-Music Video & Poetry

This is the latest music video for the book “Inside The Forbidden Outside,” along with poetry written for it. When it is published in both paperback and Ebook, I want the videos to open in each chapter and give emotion to each chapter. I’m not to sure how to do that or if it is even feasible but it’s worth a shot to find out. My brain works mysterious ways, lol, finding ways to make this more complicated as I write.  I see it in my head. It makes this whole project of writing and music more fun to do. Below are the words found in the video.

IS IT RAIN OR TEARS

Is it rain or is it tears
I felt it on my face
It seldom ceases through the years
Will time be able to erase
the scars created by the pain
I bow my head, the water flows
and cleanses all, a healing rain
The sense of calm a tear bestows

Is it rain or is it tears
I felt them one by one
the wetness soothing untold fears
my dying thirst will be undone
I close my eyes, reach out my hands
scrape my knuckles on the wall
blood mixes with the tears that land
to soothe the pain and heal it all

Is it rain or is it tears
Is it salty when you taste
wetness on your outstretched tongue
slowly falling from your face
The crying tears, the falling rain
mixes on your skin
Cools the heat and soothes the pain
and lets the hope again begin

                                   ©2018  Sonni Quick

 

im crying, sonni quick. karma, liver transplant
photo source: crazy4images.com

 

Twitter  @sonni-quick

Facebook  Jamie Life in Prison    

SonniQuick   Main music website – music and videos. 2nd mailing list for music updates

Watch and Whirl – my other blog – diverse in subject matter

SoundCloud – stream my music. 51 recordings promising to produce great dreams all night while you sleep.

YouTube  my channel is:  Sonni Quick Piano Improve

 

Piano Impro Music of Sonni Quick – “Drifting on a Cloud”

Sonni Quick hands on the piano keyboard

This is my newest piano piece. My music is always improvised. I play what I feel. This is the perfect piece of music when I need to unwind from a stressful day.  I try to end my day and go to sleep – except I can’t.  Sleep doesn’t come. My day keeps going around and around inside my head as I search for ways for solutions. I have a lot going on.  different projects. They are never finished.

I have two blogs to keep going.  One, this one, is where I post my creativity and sometimes the work of others.  I rant and rave.  I write poetry and music. My other blog is on prison issues and Jami’s life.  I write a newsletter – ITFO News. the letters stand for Inside The Forbidden Outside, the book I am writing about Jamie’s life that is in a second rewrite as I polish it to make it the best I can.  I want to help him get hiss life started again when he gets out in about 4 years. This is all in my other blog My  Name is Jamie. My Life in Prison. My facebook page is very active for Jamie Life In Prison.

My music web pages take a lot of maintenance . One is SkunkRadioLive. – a indie radio station out of London. Also ReverbNation. – a very popular website for musicians. Another is Soundcloud. I’m putting an album out “Stories Without Words”.  When It is done you’ll find the album at CDBaby, Spotify and others that sell indie music. 

All of these sites take a lot of communication with other people, writers and musicians. When you are an indie writer and an indie musician there is no label or publishing house to do the work.  I have to do it all myself and hope those who  follow me on social media sign up for my newsletter, share a few things and help me push it forward.

And I love it all. 

I feel in control of my my life.  I make the causes. I’ll get the effects.  I’m not waiting for anything else out there to change my life for me I try as much as possible to help other people.  I share their work.  I encourage people.  it is easy to get discouraged. We put ourselves out there and people judge the quality of what we do.When I was a young musician it was different.  Youth try to be famous. They want to play big arenas and make gobs of money.  I know I did. But life got in the way.  it wasn’t to be.  Now it isn’t important.  I just want to play music.  I’ve have played the piano for many years and I like where I am now. I’m not trying to sound like anyone other than myself.  If you like it – great.  If you don’t?  Well, you can’t please everyone. I also think I am writing a book that will have an appeal to many people.  I have to have that confidence or I will never finish it.

Every day I spin my plates and while one is spinning I spin another and gradually all of my projects move forward. I believe in myself and having that confidence is have the battle.  too many people start something and quit halfway through with excuses for why they quit.  Not me.  life isn’t about getting to your going – it is the process you go through as you make your way there.  If you don’t love what you do you’ll find ways to quit.

The hours of the day go by.  I forget to go to bed and when I do I lay there awake – thinking. As soon as I think I can go to sleep something startles me fully awake again.  I look at the clock. 4am, 5am 6am.  I blew it going to sleep.  When it starts getting light out I know I’m in trouble. I know there is no way I can get enough sleep now and I’ll feel draggy all day. I have gone through many days with less than 4 hours of sleep.

Now, when I have a night when I can’t sleep, I put on my headphones and pull up the website for SkunkRadioLive, click on the first piece of music, turn it down low and escape into the notes as they play.  It really is the soundtrack for dreams.  Beautiful melodies that melt into each other. I enjoy music as I play. I close my eyes and let it flow from my fingers. It’s relaxing and often haunting. I hope you enjoy it.  Let me know.  There is enough music recorded to play for a couple hours and never repeat.  Hopefully you’ll be fast asleep long before that. Z Z z z z . . .