Alonza Thomas -Fear of Heights

Over the past year I’ve written about Alonza.  I’ve had the pleasure of skyping with him many times – a deep and thoughtful man trying to figure out how to begin his life again in a world that caused him pain. We have read frequently the past year what effects are of solitary confinement. Because of what happened to Kalief Browder and his suicide caused by abuse and solitary confinement the law was changed and kids could no longer be held like that. Alonza had just turned 16 and California had just changed the law to try 16 year old kids as adults and he was the first one. He became their poster child/adult as the. “stick-up kid”.

He made it through 13 years but came out in a million tiny pieces he has been struggling to put back together. I’d like to say that today everything is great. I know he wishes it were. But the reality is the same as someone who has come back from war. On the outside everything seems to be okay, but the glue holding the pieces together never really dries and it is fragile and easily broken. He is safer inside his lonely room than facing the world outside.

Google him and watch the TV shows on him and understand his story.

 

Below the video is a link to other poetry.

Good Wouldn’t Exist Without Bad

Alonza Thomas

Alonza Thomas

It was a stormy winter night on the streets of New Orleans

A fortune teller told me that she could see me in her dreams

She said, there’s a part of me that evil overtook

Plus the devil has my heart, and my name is in his book.

I cried, i cried.

I’m a mixed drink, combined with good and bad.

The image I’ve portrayed became my truth, I chose my path.

I look myself in the mirror and i wish that I would die. Then I heard the Lord whisper, he said, believe that your mine. Believe that your mine!

My mind beats my heart, my emotions are second nature.

The result of realizing my mind was never basic.

My heart tells lies. My heart is self destructive.

I do right for the good, and well being of the structure.

Trust is not the issue, really it never was.

I don’t trust my heart, I treat it like a loaded gun.

I rarely trust my eyes I cover them with suspicion.

And even when I’m broke, i promise to pay attention.

Karma is a bitch, who I’m trying to fuck bareback.

California bear that’s wicked as a black cat.

My aim is at the level of all these Devils ball cap.

If you loyal then you family, if not watch me fall back.