Issue #8 of the ITFO Newsletter

The latest issue of my ITFO newsletter – short for Inside The Forbidden Outside. Please share to anyone you feel would benefit from reading it.

My Name is Jamie. My Life in Prison

gay-in-prison

Because of my limited html coding knowledge I can’t get the the newsletter to print out here. So I’ll give you the link that will pull it up for you and save me the frustration of figuring it out (or waking my husband up from his old hippie before dinner nap!)

I only ask (plead,cajole with a smile) that if you like what I have so far accomplished, to click on the subscribe button and add your name to the mailing list, and then send it to any social media accounts you have to help me grow.

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I am finally, in short spurts back to work continuing to edit the book I wrote that got put on hold while my thoroughly crumbled broken arm bone begins to heal. It’s hard to hold my arm up very long so I can type and my chapter files are on my computer…

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I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You

I found this video today and I played it over and over and over. It is Haley Rienhart. She has a way of forming words and the notes just slide into each other. Just beautiful.

Wise men say only fools rush in
but I can’t help falling in love with you.
Shall I stay, would it be a sin
if I can’t help falling in love with you.
Like a river flows, surely to sea
Darlin so it goes, some things are meant to be.
Take my hand, take my whole life, too
for I can’t help falling in love with you.
Like a river flows, surely to the sea
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my while life, too,
for I can’t help falling in love with you

Don’t Bring Candy To a Diabetic

Bowl of candy
credit source: elevatepromo.com

It isn’t a treat. I really do not understand people. Even though they know my mother is a diabetic and even though they know she had a stroke last April that was bad enough to put her permanently in a wheel chair they still give her the very thing that was the cause for stroke, thinking sugar “treats” will make her happy. Do you know the saying, “Don’t flash junk in front of a Junky?

I try to not let it make me angry, but it does. It’s not because they don’t know, because they do. Because of going through a major illness myself, I learned long ago that what you eat matters – a lot, if you want to live. I learned what I should and shouldn’t eat and why. Because I wanted to live I took it seriously. I would be dead now if I didn’t do that.

Ten years ago when my mom found out she had diabetes I did the same thing for her that I did for myself. I researched the disease. I learned what not to eat and the best things to eat. I sent this information to my mother and often talked with her about what to change. But I didn’t live with her so I had no idea what she was doing.  I could only hope her health would be important to her.  Later I found out she didn’t listen to much of anything our read anything, either. In addition to my mother, other family members also have diabetes.

My mother continued to eat what she wanted, but sometimes ate the right thing and thought that was good enough and considered it “trying”her best. As she said many times, “I never meet a dessert I didn’t like.”

She didn’t take her disease seriously. I think that since diabetes is now so common, many people don’t take it seriously. They think insulin will keep their blood sugar regulated but ignore all of the other damage diabetes causes. No one thinks, when your health is ruined, regaining it is a tough road; on them and the other people have to take care of them.

My mother had a stroke. Diabetes constructs the small blood vessels and that is what was happened in my mother’s brain. The doctor told me that most likely her stroke was caused by diabetes. Diabetics often go blind, lose their kidneys and because of circulation lose their toes, feet or legs. She also has a 40% chance of another stroke within five years.

Wouldn’t that scare you? Would you make sure you did absolutely everything to get as well as possible? If someone made breakfast for you – blueberry pancakes with syrup would you say “Thank you, but I really shouldn’t eat this.” Should other family members providing care be careful what they feed you, and themselves? No, and she he is going to eat anything they give her. I’ve gone over this till I’m blue in the face. If they don’t care what they eat why would it matter what they feed her?

With the internet available, all the information I know is there for anyone to find. Why people choose to be ignorant about a diagnosed disease isn’t very smart. You can’t “try” to eat better; either you do or you don’t. There are consequences to the things we do. When someone I love is harming themselves – with anything – it’s hard to sit back and just watch knowing that for every cause you make there is an effect.

Today, while watching TV at my mother’s place; I don’t personally own one, there was a commercial selling a horrible drug with seriously bad side effects, to make you less hungry. Wow. Since the person taking it doesn’t know how to eat right, if the lose weight they will gain it all back plus more when they stop. What an awful idea.

It’s easier to stay healthy than to try and get your health back. I understand that in a big way. I know I can’t fix other people. But I want these other people to get food for my mother that doesn’t promote her diabetes and greaten the chance of another stroke.

The food industry has destroyed the health of many people with the fake food that is manufactured. A high percentage of manufactured food has vegetable oil, soybean oil, high fructose corn syrup, heart extract, Aspartame and other chemical sugars, preservatives and many other bad things. None of this is new information yet people keep eat it anyway. They get fatter. The get diseases that are now so common they think is normal. To think so little of your life

is sad.

What is God? Is He an Alien?

What is God?
Source credit: world- mysteries.com

Seriously, Set aside your religious beliefs and the stories you’ve been told, because in reality no one absolutely knows anything. We believe things, but we have no idea if what we believe is true. We believe things because we were told to. That holds true for most things we know, or think we know.

People have believed many things, incredible things, that we now know were false. Many were  out of ignorance, but none the less we believed them. The world was flat. Sailors were petrified they were going to fall off the edge if they sailed too far. We can laugh at that now, but they had no way of knowing anything different. Even looking at the round moon couldn’t show them it was shaped like a ball.

God with lightening
Source credit: visionair.nl

Until recent history we had many gods. Gods for everything, even for the sound of thunder because the sound was so large and menacing and represented god’s anger in their minds. People were afraid of the gods. But when thunder was proven scientifically the God of thunder disappeared.

 

IF there was an all seeing, all knowing, intelligence that permeated every aspect of life and had the capability of controlling everything, made everything, understood everything, why didn’t he let “his” people know the world was flat?

The earth is flat
source credit: religiousforums.com

Some people believe this God knows your thoughts and has a plan for everything and everyone’s life. Hitler was a devout Christian and thought he was doing God’s work and God just let him murder millions of people? That would make me very angry at God.  Didn’t he love those families as much as he loved the German families? He favored one people over another and let the others die and you still love him? I wouldn’t. This is just one horrible example out of many where I guess he just sat back and watched? He could have intervened and didn’t? He can seemingly perform a miracle by saving someone health but he doesn’t save a town from being ravaged by a tornado? We can’t know God’s will, some say. I say, what God? Any God who acts like this means there is no God

I know people will say God gave us free will. Is it just an excuse to make sense of the bad things? “Hurricane Katerina hit New Orleans to punish the gays!” Christians, by and large don’t like gays. Today Texas law makers are considering giving murder charges to women who get abortions. Wow, God must really love them. Texas likes the death penalty. Should we put those women to death for killing their fetal cells? You know they are considering making them have funerals. Even for miscarriages.

People have taken the concept of what God wants to a new level. A woman I know was in a horrible car accident with her family and everyone was killed except her. Even the people in the other car. She was a devout Christian. She said God saved her. Only God could have saved her because she was so badly hurt. I listened to her story and asked, “Why didn’t he save anyone else?” She got quiet and said, “I’ve wondered that sometimes.” Yet God never told her why or gave any indication of an answer in any form. Maybe he didn’t hear her ask him. Maybe he was too busy planning out the lives of an ever populating earth – earths – on millions of galaxies in the far reaches of just this one universe and at the same time he’s favoring sports teams and political agendas.

Bible scripture with trump
source credit: Hungarianspectrum.com

The Christian Right used God to sell Trump to the people to be president even though he exhibits traits that go against the ten commandment: lying and stealing ( from Trump university students, coveting and grabbing women’s private parts and more), so clearly God favors America over other countries. Trump never exhibited Christian beliefs verbally or in his lifestyle. This was a tough sell. The Republicans cater to the Christians for their vote so naturally God thinks America is special above all other countries.

All this is happening while people are praying God will save their dying family member while others give everything over to God’s will and His plan for their life. God can do all this because, well, just because he can. He’s God! We made him out to be what we needed because we need a crutch. We can’t do it ourselves. We need to be loved by what can only be an alien.

So what do you think God is? Does he favor a side? He’s not human, that’s for sure, so is he capable of love? Or do we put that in because we need to think he is capable of love. I don’t believe in this concocted God up there directing traffic. Is he a being? Energy? I do believe in the power of the mind. We can make ourselves believes there is a God but that doesn’t mean it’s really there and trying to force that on other people is wrong. Hurting others is wrong.

If there is an alien “up there” who can hear our thoughts and manipulate our lives, we are in deep doodoo; and I sure don’t want to go live is his space ship in the sky in his version of a mansion in heaven and I’d lay odds the billionaires are laughing at this prospect as well. Why would this sound appealing to a rich man? Unless he owned it.

Everyone is welcome to their own interpretation of God and why they think it is true. I’d be curious to hear yours. No bashing or hate talk or name calling. No statements of, “You’re going to Hell!” Tell us what you think your truth is and why. Sometimes what we believe is wishful thinking. That’s okay.

To me, if God is real, the alien concept makes the most sense, but I really think he’s something we made up in our minds to try to understand what our life means and where we come from. It’s just gotten out of hand because of our lack of understanding. Believing in Adam and Eve is just silly. Over time the concept grew and splintered in many directions as our population grew. Everyone thinks their version of God is the right one and are willing to kill for it. Are you.

Don’t stop searching for the truth.  I don’t look down on anyone who thinks differently than you do. We all have to come to grips with living and dying, and since we all have to die I’d rather do it with a smile on my face. But none of us knows the answer. You can say, “Absolutely! I know the truth. It says so in this many monk written book,” but you don’t. It’s only what you want it to be. Don’t get bogged down in what you were told. Start studying other ideas and broaden your universe. It might surprise you.

 

What is Religion and Why Do We Need It?

 

religions

Depending on who your parents are or how you were raised is probably going to determine what religion you think is true. Are they all true? Do you think yours is the true one? What if someone else thinks theirs is true? Can they all be true? Do you know what other religions teach? Have you studied any other? Do you try every day to apply what your faith teaches you in everything you think and do?

There are people who change their faith in their life; I’m one of them, but what would make someone want to change? What has your faith done for your life? Has it made a difference in the kind of person you are? Does it enable you to overcome the obstacles you face? Why do we have obstacles, is there a purpose? Whose responsibility is it when you fail and succeed? Who benefits when you fail?

There are many questions. Have you ever stopped to think about these things?

BILL HICKS QUOTE-2

This question isn’t being asked to convince you that what you believe is the “right” religion of not, but why do you feel you need to have a faith in the first place? What is the purpose of a religion? To live a better live and become a better human? To praise a supreme being? To have a supreme being “in the heavens” who is capable of every that is attributed to him that has been around for eons of time wouldn’t he need to come from a superior race or be an alien of some kind to be so afraid of what he could do to us if he got made enough? Does this sound silly? Have you thought about it?

If you have a religion, are you a lazy practitioner when it suits you or do you try every day to put the tenets of your faith into practice in all you do? Do you only practice on the special days? Do you look down on other religions and think you are special?

I see religion being discussed more and more in areas outside the church and believe many people don’t question why they have the religion they do. Ask yourself, why am I a Christian, atheist, Buddhist, Muslim, etc.? For many it depends on where we were born and what dominant religion is in that area, because that is what your parents taught you, and their parents taught them. But does that make it true? The basics were indoctrinated into you from a young age.

Since your parents taught you everything you knew as a young child, why would you doubt the truth of anything they said? If they were good people trying to do their best to teach their children they wouldn’t intentionally lie to you. They wanted you to learn to believe what they thought were the right things to help you with your life, as their parents taught them and their parents taught them and so on.

How does that affect the children born into families, or adopted that were not whole in some way, or perhaps raised by abusive or addicted parents or raised by foster parents – perhaps multiple sets of foster parents who taught them nothing about how to live; how to be a good person or how to live a life of truth and why that matters.

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I see an angry world with different religions fighting each other trying to prove they are the best one; the right one, and finding ways to be okay to kill. I see Christian (?) lawmakers using their power to control people, forcing what they believe on others, not because they believe it to be true but because money can be made when you can control people and what they learn. That has been for many hundreds of years. For example, these law makers want to control abortion, and it isn’t because every life is precious, because adult life isn’t precious.

Why should one religion force any part of their faith on other people? That goes for any religion, anywhere. If you try to say it’s what God wants, I say, “Oh really?” I’m disgusted with people who say, God says this and God says that because God didn’t say a damn thing. It’s just someone’s interpretation of an interpretation. Just like saying, “God loves you or Jesus loves you,” putting a human emotion on something you hope is true of an alien supreme being you might say causes floods and hurricanes on people he’s angry at, but he sure never said anything at all. Religious preachers say that for control. They don’t know anything, but people send them money to keep saying it and they can buy planes and homes. We know who these men and women are.

We have hopes. Just hopes. Period. people don’t want to die and not see their loved ones again. Do you know what other faiths say about death? Maybe you would like their version of events better. All faiths that have a supreme alien being who hears all prayers and still has time to plan every life on a planet in a galaxy of millions and millions of galaxies.

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When you think about how vast the universe is, and this is just one universe, that makes our piece of sand just one extremely small piece of something terribly large. Man has wondered and contemplated the meaning of his life since he knew he could think. His ability to understand things has increased repeatedly, but still several religions try to teach us as though our intellect it hasn’t changed in thousands of years and it puts a white man at the center, even in a black country. Is that logical?

I’m not going to tell you my faith is right and yours is wrong. I’m not going to tell you what to believe. I’m going to ask you to think. Has your faith worked in the country where you live? Or do you believe because everyone around you does? Have you seen your hopes and dreams realized? Do you believe in miracles because you have no other answer? Are you happy? Are the people happy? Do they live well together? Is there war? Is there fear?

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Is it important for mankind to understand these questions if we are going to survive as a species? I feel we are on the brink of being in a very bad place and humans are letting it happen and it’s scary. People are being hurt because some people think they are better than other people. Do you are allthink you are better than others? Do you think some races are better than others, more intelligent or more worthy? Some people choose to not search for the truth. Do you, or do you usually believe what you’re told, especially if it makes you appear socially better?

I’ve asked a lot a questions, not to argue but to search for an open door to begin a dialogue. If you can, back up what you say with a real answer, not just an opinion. Don’t back it up with just Bible verse unless you’re willing to hear the written verse of a different religion that has a different opinion or truth.

I don’t want to argue. Remember, each person thinks they know the truth. If no one comments then I’ll take it that no one cares. I want to know, why do you think you know the truth, or would you like to think you are still searching? Answer any of the other dozen or so questions I asked. Be honest and be honest with yourself. That is not always easy.

The Arrest.

She has a way with words like I’ve seldom read, definitely a talent. It’s so easy to keep reading I hope you enjoy her words as much as I do.

Musings of PuppyDoc

A code called.
She races
as the seas part
for her crossing.

Reposed before her–
rhythm without pulse,
fluid without flow,

substance without life–
is you.

Invaded
as lines in your thigh

penetrate a pump paralyzed,
as tube between ashen lips
thrusts into stagnant air.
Poison pushed into a heart
quivering, she watches as

your chest rises
with the force

of each counterfeit breath.

The symphony begins.

Thump
Shock delivered.
Strike through the breast.
Voltage down your limbs.
Buoyant, jerking,
Each retort
a life feigned by lightening.

Crunch
Bones crush.
The carol of ribs,
a surrender to the fury
of each compression,

quickens with her pounding heart.
Each chord
a dissonant harmony.

Glazed are your eyes
as they pulsate
with the cadence of their dance.
She looks at you.
Pleads for you to return.
Prays to the god she plays.
But your eyes plead for something more.

You leave her.

The story ends.

And the orchestra leaves.

•      •      •

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World’s Oldest Bodybuilder at 80

oldest-female-bodybuilder-grandma-80-year-old-ernestine-shepherd-19This is incredible!  Sadly, people are getting fatter –  sloppy, diabetic, unappealing, and often stuffed into spandex. Yet we look away and try to be polite and not stare into their grocery carts at the horrible food they eat, when knowledge of that bad food is out there and you could educate yourself. They fool themselves, and we help them believe that fat is beautiful. No. It. Isn’t. They will likely die sooner because of it.

People think that just because they are getting older it is normal to “Let yourself go”. It isn’t. We see examples of older people who care about themselves. They don’t give excuses for bad behavior. They don’t say, “I have a thyroid problem,” to try to not take responsibility.

When I saw this 80 year old woman in this video I was blown away. I’m not saying everyone should be a bodybuilder but there is no need to have your fat giggling down between your legs as though that is normal. There is no need or excuse to have fat kids. Now Diabetes is up for kids causing them ill health they never needed to have.

You obviously can do what you want, but maybe this will give you a little encouragement. If watching this video doesn’t fire you up to do something for your life then you are beyond helping. Love yourself and do something about it. Sometimes we get in a big rut and don’t like ourselves very much but we are going to eat our way into major illness if we don’t do something about it. Some people say, “You have to go somehow,” but having come close to dying from illness myself I can tell you, if that happens you are going to be wanting to change it real fast but it will be to late.

It’s hard to keep up the incentive to change but it is up to you to find people to encourage you to change your attitude about getting older.

This is a picture of me when I was 31 and working out with weights. I’m exactly twice that now. I don’t want to be a body builder at this point in my life but I want my health to be better than what it is. After a liver transplant in 2012 I was exercising to get into shape. My physical therapist told me I could never look like that again. I listened to him and quit. Then my back fractured from osteoporosis caused by liver disease. I Also have a herniated disc mid back and have a spinal cord stimulator up my spine for pain. Now I’m recuperating from a bad fall 3 months ago and half my left arm and elbow is now metal. Trying to make my arm work at all is challenging. Bending it, lifting it or straightening it is painful. Today for the first time I could reach my left arm over and put on deodorant, while gritting my teeth, but I did it. What an accomplishment! Watching this video was the incentive I needed to work harder.

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I was so afraid I wouldn’t be able to play the piano, but if I’m careful I can hold my arm up for 10-15 minutes but because nerves are healing it is hard to move my wrist back and forth. I’m going to start recording videos of my progress. Saying this means I have to follow through.

My doctor told me not to hope for much. One surgery was bad enough. Having to replace the bone in the shoulder socket and screw two plates together over my elbow and hold it together with 13 screws made it was worse. He said I’ll be disappointed if I try for too much. He thought 70% function was possible. That isn’t good enough.I can’t even touch my face.

So this video gave me hope – the incentive to try harder and exercize more. A year from now where will I be? I’m not one to give up. Are you? Wish me luck!