Ravens Take to The Sky

Listen to Ravens take To The Sky by Sonni Quick #np on #SoundCloud

I have a granddaughter named Karissa Raven (Quick). It is hard when you aren’t in the life of grandchildren that live with the parent that isn’t your child. It is hard on grandmothers when your son’s baby momma doesn’t want to be in contact with you and never tells you anything that is going on in her life.

My son and the mother were young and unmarried. They tried to make it work but it was an accidental pregnancy and they had nothing in common. My son worked on the road and the mother moved far away. My son paid support until she was 18, but he wasn’t able to see her. Very complicated. She is 20 now.

I knew the mother since the time she was 18. No matter what I said she always thought I didn’t like her. Since we had no relationship and things were bad between her and my son, my grand daughter only heard her mother’s version of things. That is normal. But when you are young you don’t understand there are always two sides to every story and the truth lies somewhere in the middle. One story is not ever the the whole truth.

Unfortunately, the mother broke many of the court stipulations but my son couldn’t take her to court because she filed false kidnapping charges against him after she dropped the child off with him and took off on a cruise. He had to work and took her with him to his next contract, out of state,  but let her know where he was. That was how she knew where to send the police to arrest him.

They let him out of jail after about ten days. They weren’t going to pay to extradite him. But he couldn’t go into the state of California for 1O years because there was a 500k bench warrant if he was caught inside the state. After ten years they said he could come and turn himself in and he would be able to get out after 30 days when he went to court, but by then he had a family to support and couldn’t do it. So even though he had court ordered visitation, he couldn’t see her. It was sad, because he never did kidnap her. It was a way for the mom to make him suffer, and he did. The lost of his child was almost like a death.

My granddaughter cut ties with my son because he tried to tell her what her mother did because it ripped him to shreds. The last time I spoke her was about 6 years ago. She would agreed to talk to me if  “you never mention your son,” not “my father.”But I did and she hung up on me and never spoke to me again ever. I waited and waited for her to grow up. I left an occasional message on her Instagram page. No answer.

Meanwhile, my mother is getting older and in a wheelchair as is her other great grandmother. Both 86. She has an 11 and 12 year old 1/2 brother and sister she had never seen or spoken to. I’d watch her mother’s Facebook page for pictures. My heart hurt. Quite ago I left another message with her mother  asking her please ask Karissa to call and heard nothing – until about two weeks. She wrote, “I am willing to talk to Moya. ” (her 11 yr old half sister). Since then she and I  have texted some – me more than her, but the two girls talked. A connection was made. 

I did what I usually do when I’m emotional. I compose music. The title has her middle name. I sent it to her in a text today. I haven’t heard back yet. Music is the gift I can give that no one else can give. It is part of the story. It is part of me. I don’t even know what kind of music she likes so maybe it won’t mean much to her. I’m have to wait and see.

Dreams of Dreaming

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I’ve been working endless hours lately trying to fit everything in and get my two online stores open – which I did.  I want to encourage you to go.  I am adding new product all the time and I really need your support. The easiest thing to do is go to Facebook and in the search bar put Watch and Whirl.  ( I will later add the store to this blog, too).  I don’t have a separate URL for the Facebook store yet until I get my sales tax ID, but it is still open for business.  If you like and share the page it will help Facebook to increase my organic reach of how many people they will show it to for free.  Ads get pricey, so getting likes and follows really helps in the long run.

I have music instruments, household goodies like really neat rugs, Tiffany style lamps and windows, frangrances and all kinds of items in the Misc Goodies section. and if you have a little girl – and awesome purse for Easter or Spring!

If you are interested I will write a post later and tell you all the steps I took to get started if you’d like to do this yourself.

I did finish a new piece of music  and I want to share that with you and post it before I fall asleep and get caught up in another day. I hope you enjoy.

This is a soundtrack for a chapter in the book I am writing – Inside The Forbidden Outside. The chapter takes place inside a lucid dream.

I am an avid dreamer. Every night, every time I wake I am in a dream. I can get up, use the bathroom, go back to bed and pick up the same dream.  I can also sometimes make myself continue to stay asleep so I can continue to dream until I am done with it.  Can anyone else do that?

Go to my music website and subscribe to my mailing list, which I send once a month so you won’t miss the new music I record. sonniquick.net

The Ugly Color in the Rainbow

Listen to Playing Through Pain by Sonni Quick #np on #SoundCloud

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The Ugly Color in the Rainbow

Sadly the people who left you behind
don’t know what they’ll miss
Closing doors, no final looks
determine there is no worth
No matter the reason,
cruelty will bring you pain
The kiss, never quite meeting the cheek
before it breezes on
There is no need to ever find out
the person you dismiss
Was the one you didn’t know
you’d need the most
When life pulled the rug
from beneath your feet
You end alone and so sad
because no bridge exists to cross
You barely see the other side
to see if maybe someone is there
You fall down weeping
Head on the ground
Breathing in the smell of the dirt
for the hateful thoughts you had
finding someone else to blame
You threw way the ones
who weren’t easy to know,
who didn’t think like you, they had to go
Never thinking the day would come
Where they might be the only one
Who really understood who you were
How scared you were
you wouldn’t find your way
As you glued together the pieces of your life
that wouldn’t stay together
Life doesn’t care how you think
as we gather in our strengths
But no one makes it all alone,
or knows the lengths life will go
to show you what you didn’t know
And you thought your life had no need of me
You didn’t learn and you will never know
Because pride stands in your way
You made yourself stay away
The truth was never important
You made peace with just a piece
You don’t understand why anymore
You can’t just stuff it down
It will never go away, but I can go away
And the chance to make amends dissolves
Into a pool of life and never resolves 
in any way. It becomes lost just like we are
Because you stood still and it washed away
The door that lets in happiness and good feelings
The superficiality of supposed lies
keeps you locked away in fear
in a place where you can’t take a first step
You give in to not changing the same old same old.
Nothing changes. Life keeps grieving
What if you were wrong all along
All the unfinished feelings are lost in time
No one else but me cares about that.
I can’t care alone and I can’t forget
It crawls underneath my skin
Indifference is such an ugly color on the rainbow
No one understands what the future brings
And how it affects the future
When we breathe that last thought and no knows
No one is there to breathe it with you
Who knew you since we were born
The moment will be gone – forever gone
We will be no more and no one will care

Only The Echoes Are Ringing

Last night I uploaded a new piece of music to SoundCloud. This one is different from the rest. I eliminated the piano track that these tracks were recorded for. On a whim I muted it and listened  I hadn’t done that before. I sometimes muted and recorded over tracks but not the main one! I like how it sounded and decided to keep it that way. So what you are hearing is 5 tracks of background music! Only I can imagine the missing track!

You can also hear all of the music and watch the videos at my website sonniquick.net

You can subscribe to my music mailing list at my website. Having the support of people who listen is the only way of knowing if you enjoy what I’m doing. You can download any of the music right now for free. That might change after my book is published because they will be tied together. Indie musicians don’t have contracts with producers who advertise.

You can follow the videos to my Youtube channel – or search for Sonni Quick Piano Improv – which would be great – so you can subscribe and hit that cute little bell to hear about any new videos I post – about twice a month

Peace and Love!

Keeping Time – Where Are Your Memories?

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I came across this quote today:

“Life is not the number of days you live, it’s the number of days you remember”  

I sat and thought about it for quite awhile. I have had quite a life. At 64 I think I can honestly say that I have aggressively filled it with lots of “things”. I never settled. I never let fear take hold. I lived where I wanted to live and I did the things I wanted to do. I dealt with adversity by attacking it head on. If I said I was going to do something I did, and if didn’t work out the way I hoped, it wasn’t for lack of trying, and I didn’t find excuses and justifications and made some other reason to blame.

Most of all, if someone thinks I shouldn’t do something and has nothing to add to the reasons why, than it doesn’t make me not want to do it. My motto – and I mean this – and I’ve told this to probably hundreds of people in the last 40 years:

~If you don’t like what I’m doing, don’t watch me do it~

I don’t care if someone doesn’t like what I do. My life is my life. Period. You shouldn’t try to make people change because it is something YOU wouldn’t do. I don’t do that to them. It’s okay to express your opinion, just don’t expect me to live life the way you would.

I learned many people don’t do what they want because  of fear.

1. Fear of the unknown

2. Fear of failure

3. Fear of what people will think (other people don’t think about you as often as you think they do)  

There are also people who begin something new, but have no follow through. I know a woman – a talented woman – who began many projects, from writing a book, quilting, began a business and did all the preliminary research, created stained glass, even began painting her hallway, and on and on. She quit almost every project after starting enthusiastically.

Unfinished projects. Why? Her answer was, “I’m going to get back to them someday, maybe.” She had such a wonderful creative mind, yet had no confidence in herself. I think the answer was – if she was the one who chose to stop, then it wasn’t because she had failed. She could always begin it again, but seldom did. It was her choice.  She also told me one day, “I wish nothing changed.  I wish I could stay in my house and nothing changed. I don’t want friends, because you have to maintain friendships. If I have no friends no one will expect anything of me.” (and I don’t have to be there for them, either?) 

I thought I could show her something different – that she had value. I encouraged her to believe in herself. The end result – she believed a lie someone told her (I won’t get into that) and wouldn’t talk to me about it. It gave her the excuse to kick me out of her life, ( for the second time, and the first time lasted 35 years)  and she no longer speaks to me anymore. It’s been about 4 years now, I can’t “remember” exactly when. I’ve tried to unsuccessfully squash it down. 

Some people want to disappear. I will have no more memories of her to think about and that makes me sad. I don’t know how she is doing. Some people won’t stand up for their own life. She didn’t want to have a life beyond what appeared in front of her without any effort on her part. If you choose to believe things without finding out the truth you are taking the path of least resistance. Sadly, I’m not the only person she did this to. 

At the end of her life what will she remember? And she is my sister. 

I know my style of living is not for everyone. But I realize life is short and I’m going to die at the end of it. I have wanted to fill it up with memories so when I’m decrepit I can relive my memories. My memories of her are mostly of our childhood. 

My successes, my failures, my friends – many of them are all over the world. They live in my tablet and I can visit with them whenever I want. Except for limited family and neighbors, how many people are good friends who care about you, and you see them face to face? The internet opened up the world. 

Right now I’m making plans to meet up with a young Russian man in his 20’s during a visit to America in June, when I take the train from Harrisburg to Miami on down to the Keys. I make this trek quite often and have met some very interesting people. A man traveling who makes a living betting on sports – older woman who traveled the states when she was young, picking fruits and vegetables and loved it!

My Russian friend and I have been writing and sending pictures since he was about 15 and needed advice on how to talk to a girl in school. He was also learning to play the guitar so we talked about learning music. Such fun. He was just learning English and now speaks it proficiently. He had a goal and is making his goal come true. No, I don’t equate his being Russian with the politics of Russia with the United States. 

I started this post today because I read a quote and it started me thinking about my own life. These were the thoughts that came to mind. What do you think? How do you live your life? What do you think about taking chances and doing something new? Let’s talk about it.

As an afterthought here is music I recorded about Time:

Music, videos  and photos found here at my website

Sign up to my mailing list at that website to hear about new music and videos. Many thanks to you!

 

Who is Taking Care Of My Broken Heart? Music video

 

This is my newest music video. I hope you enjoy it. This music piece has quickly become one of my fastest rising improvisations currently playing on 3 streaming sites, as well as a variety of other social media sites. When someone likes my music it is the best feeling for me.

My recordings are all home recordings. It’s been awhile since I made a recording in a music studio  and since I am not an engineer, and my knowledge of sound mixing is nonexistent, there are at times obvious mistakes I’m not sure how to fix.

This recording of, Who is Taking Care of My Broken Heart, mentions Jamie’s son, the man who is the main character in my book, Inside The Forbidden Outside.

Jamie has not been able to have any kind of face to face relationship with his son while he has been incarcerated because no one but myself has taken him to see his father. I live far away and can’t easily get to Texas. No one else has done much of anything to help and support him. You find it who really loves you and who only say the words

That is why his heart is broken

This is my main website – Sonni Quick 

You can also stream my music at Reverbnation

And SoundCloud

 

Who’s Taking Care of My Broken Heart

 

Listen to Who’s Taking Care of My Broken Heart by Sonni Quick #np on #SoundCloud

I posted this to soundcloud.com/sonni-quick three weeks ago and it quickly became one of my most frequently played recordings. Not in the scope of someone backed by a major producer, but I’ve been pleased with the results so far by those who follow my music and share it. SoundCloud is a great site to hear good non-industry music, develop playlists or play one already compiled, 

At this stage of my life, ober the past couple years I’ve had about 20k hits combined on all of the music I have on the internet and thats a heck of a lot more than those who saw me play live when I was younger – and those people could never hear the music again.

The internet has been a great boom to musicians getting their music heard – but there is extremely little money in it. Why buy what you can stream?

I’m banking on my combined following of music and those generated by Jamie’s blog and social media. It will give my book (when it’s done) the possibility of greater success. I posted a new partial chapter today on Jamie blog. SUBSCRIBE at that blog to read complete chapters.

I welcome your feedback. Reader’s opinions and criticism is my only way right now to find out what is wrong – or right. Do you want to be a reader,  let me know. If you do  I’ll send you a free t-shirt, (that you can also purchase on the first post at the blog) a free copy of the book when it comes out, and your name in the book for those who helped – and a few album dl of all the music, which would come with a purchase of the book.

Let me know if you’re interested and I’ll give you more details. 

******

My website – sonniquick.net – for music, YouTube videos and photos

My music Facebook page