Unintended Consequences – Poetry and YouTube Video

Unintended Consequences

I never thought I’d have to live
in such a lonely place
I touch the walls on either side
I never thought I’d call this home
Memories here I can’t erase
A thousand people all alone

I never thought this was where I’d be
My life would work it out
I never dreamed my window
was the only way I’d see
the beauty of the world outside
How can I continue?

An unintended consequence
Not thinking what will be
the end result, not thinking through
Pretending I was being free
I didn’t think, I never thought
my careless choice I can’t undo

I never thought what would I crave
the most if taken away
The touch of skin, your silken breath?
Sends goosebumps up my spine
I shiver once and desire more
“You didn’t think,” I heard you cry

I only have my memories now
To keep me warm at night
I wrap my arms around my head
Pretending you are touching me
It will be years, will you be gone?
Touching someone else instead

An unintended consequence
Not thinking what will be
the end result, not thinking through
Thinking I was being free
But I didn’t think, I never thought
It would mean losing you

By Sonni Quick ©2018

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There is a chapter in the book I am writing with the same title. The book chronicals Jamie’s life in prison and his maturing from a boy into a man. This is a true story taken from hundreds of letters we shared, along with a creative narrative joining the events together  I had to crawl inside his head to understand but after 13 years of writing to him I understand him pretty well. At the link for the chapter you can subscribe to my mailing list to get periodic updates 

Because of the sheer volume of work that needs to be done preparing this book and writing the music and videos it is hard to keep up my 2 blogs as frequently as I’d like. Thank you so much for your support.

My Mind is Playing Tricks on Me – music

 

nightmares

This music was recorded Nov 2017 but the chapter it goes to in my upcoming book, “Inside The Forbidden Outside,” was not ready yet to be written. You can find a partial chapter on this post at my other blog, but to read the entire chapter you have to be subscribed to ITFO News – on that blog post. Not everyone reads every post and can keep up with how this project is going. I never overwhelm email inboxes. I only write on occasion to update the progress and to let you know when it will be published. This draft is 47,000 words so far, 20 chapters and 14 music videos. So it is getting there and is being written with great care. It is the truth about someone’s life, wrapped into a creative non fiction story – and the illusions and dreams that can take place inside someone’s mind. This man is still sitting in solitary confine cell called adseg. As terrible as that is he feels it is better than being in general population (gen pop) at the mercy of the guards, riots, weapons and being exposed to inmates on drugs.

I believe this book provides the insight to see the inmates of our prisons to be people and not commodities to make money from until you wear them out and kill them from neglect while pretending otherwise to the people who read about our prisons in the media. I believe what they do to humans is shameful. Yes, we have very guilty people among the inmates and many suffer from untreated mental illnesses or are caused to have mental breakdowns due to mistreatment. Too many have a callous view of the millions locked up and don’t want to believe there are innocent people locked up and sentences are way to steep and believed to deserve whatever the prisons do to them, especially for blacks and Hispanics whose lives we try to ruin on the outside because they had the “misfortune” of being born with color in their skin. Not until you have a family member who is exposed to this humanity can most people understand what it does to humanity and all their family members ho have to watch the suffering.

My book addresses the reality of being imprisoned – not their guilt, and I will fight to help people understand the part they play by ignoring what they think doesn’t involve them.

Twitter  @sonni-quick

Facebook  Jamie Life in Prison    

SonniQuick   Main music website – YouTube videos and stream my music – subscribe to a separate mailing list for music.

My Name is Jamie. My Life in Prison – my other blog

SoundCloud – one website that streams my music

Alonza Thomas -Fear of Heights

Over the past year I’ve written about Alonza.  I’ve had the pleasure of skyping with him many times – a deep and thoughtful man trying to figure out how to begin his life again in a world that caused him pain. We have read frequently the past year what effects are of solitary confinement. Because of what happened to Kalief Browder and his suicide caused by abuse and solitary confinement the law was changed and kids could no longer be held like that. Alonza had just turned 16 and California had just changed the law to try 16 year old kids as adults and he was the first one. He became their poster child/adult as the. “stick-up kid”.

He made it through 13 years but came out in a million tiny pieces he has been struggling to put back together. I’d like to say that today everything is great. I know he wishes it were. But the reality is the same as someone who has come back from war. On the outside everything seems to be okay, but the glue holding the pieces together never really dries and it is fragile and easily broken. He is safer inside his lonely room than facing the world outside.

Google him and watch the TV shows on him and understand his story.

 

Below the video is a link to other poetry.

NYC Sends $30M a Year to School With History of Giving Kids Electric Sh

……It makes me angry and it hurts my heart to see children being abused, often with the parent not understanding where they are putting their child or it is a last resort because they’ve tried everything. Much of this problem is caused by the lack of mental services. How can it be that this is true? After closing down facilities years ago and not providing an alternative, what options do people have?  If a city is recommending a place for you to send your kids when you have no other options shouldn’t you be able to trust that the place is not going to torture your kids?  Since what they receive is definitely not help, what happens when these children become adults?  Where do they go when they are unable too to get get their lives together?  They go to PRISON.  That is where they can continue to be tortured and no one will see the torturers.

Please read this entire article to fully understand how serious it is.

http://facebook.com/jamielifeinprison . . .Blog posts and news about injustice in the world

Sonni Quick piano music complete list

CHILDREN IN SHADOW ::: CHILDREN IN WAR

Pro Publica[1] / ByHeather Vogell[2], Annie Waldman[3] http://www.alternet.org/print/education/nyc-sends-30m-year-school-history-giving-kids-electric-Shocks

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NYC Sends $30M a Year to School With History of Giving Kids Electric Shocks

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The Judge Rotenberg Center, a Boston-area school for kids with severe developmental disabilities and behavior disorders, has earned national notoriety[4] for a long record of brutal techniques to keep children in line.

Electric shocks. Restraints. Hunger.

Federal and state authorities have repeatedly[5]scrutinized[6] the school. Even the United Nations’ Special Rapporteur on torture has chimed in[7].

But New York City kids are still being sent there. Indeed, nearly 90 percent of the school’s students — 121 of 137 kids — are from New York City, including 29 who enrolled this year. New York’s taxpayers send the Center $30 million a year.

The flow has continued despite records obtained by ProPublica showing the…

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Jamie Really Needs Your Help – Please

I reblogged this from my other blog. I know some of you read both. It’s hard to understand sometimes what is like in prison, especially when you been put in ad sg – solitary confinement. This is Jamie’s third time there which has now totaled over 1600 days. If you read the story about Kalief Browder, he did over 400 days The human mind can only take so much and I’m worried about him. He is very depressed. This is why I wrote this post. I have already received several emails at the address I provided. I will paste them all into one jpay email which is the prison email system. Please have compassion for inmates and send an email to Jamie Cummings and help me give him hope. Hope that when this is over he will be reunited with son and be able to have a life once more.

My Name is Jamie. My Life in Prison

Credit source: Frtimmoyle.blogspot.com Credit source:
Frtimmoyle.blogspot.com

I’ve been worried about him since he told me what the guards did to him. My gut feeling was telling me that mentally he was in trouble. This 3rd time of being put in solitary about 4 months ago was so discouraging for him, feeling as though he’s losing the fight. He lost all the progress he made. I don’t know how this will affect his parole hearing in 2016 because he can’t complete any programs in solitary.

I contacted a man I met a year or so ago, Melvin, who sometimes goes to see him and encourage him. He could easily be his father’s age. Finally, Jamie had a visitor. Melvin changed his plans today and drove to this prison. He called me after and told me how down he was. He is going next weekend, too, and I’m trying to get my daughter to let…

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Two chapters from my New Book, InsideOut

If anyone has been to my other blog http://mynameisjamie.net  – I have a section on the right of each blog that lists the posts from both sides.  If you’ve been there then you might know the story of Jamie Cummings, one of the fathers of one of my grandsons who has been locked up in prison for the last 9 years, with 8 to go.  This is the reason I started the other blog, to print his many letters to me and categorize the different subject matter to write a book.  I started that book about a month or so ago.

I thought I would post 2 chapters here.  One is the first chapter and one is  random chapter.  Since each prison issue is a different chapter, the order of the chapters won’t be decided until they are done.  I’m going to put the “add contact form” at the bottom for those of you who would like to be added to the list of people who may be interested in getting the book when it is completed, or use it if you would like to receive any further chapters I may post.  Otherwise, leave a comment.  Let me know what you think. Don’t forget to click on those pretty yellow stars, too.  Your feedback is important to me.

inside-out
InsideOut now changed to “Inside the Forbidden Outside”

nightmares
Inside The Forbidden Outside chapter – Nightmares