Do You Live For Yourself – Or Others?

Do You Live For Yourself – Or Others?

 

Did you grow up in your hometown, marry young, buy a house close by and stay there for the rest of your life; or did you spread your wings and fly off, finding new places and new friends, living places you chose to move to as the opportunity presented itself and saw life as an adventure? Is one way better than the other? Look at yourself now. Did you do the right thing? Would you admit it to yourself if you didn’t? Would you go back and do something different?

I’m in my mid 60’s. I enjoy my age. I think I’ve acquired a bit more wisdom, and a heck of a lot of determination to finish life pleased with how I lived it. I climbed the mountains and survived – so far. As I look back on my life, each decade I went through was in a different place as well as a different way to survive, staying away from the conventional paycheck and instead relying on my ingenuity.

I know clearly where I was at each development of wisdom. Why me? What made me want to experience newness while the rest of my family felt comfort and security was more important because everything stayed the same? Someone I grew up with once told me she wished nothing would ever change. She’d stay in her house. She said she didn’t need any friends, they were too much bother. Was that her idea of happiness? Looking at her life now what effect did that have on our relationship? Not a good one.

What makes one person want to experience the newness that comes along in life? We have a choice to grab onto it or ignore it. Do we take the chance to make new friends or change careers, or perhaps begin a new hobby, and another person in the same family chooses the safety of only what is familiar, the comfort of routine and the predictability of sameness. Work the same job for decades even though they hated it? For the paycheck? It is worth giving up the possibly of finding a creative part of yourself just to stay in your predictable comfort zone?

8451194

It takes all kinds of people to make the world go ’round. There isn’t one perfect way that is good for everyone. I chose long ago to not live with fear of the unknown. Any day could be my last – your last. I would rather leave this life with a smile on my face with the possibility of a new adventure on the horizon. When do you stop living with anticipation? “What if I went there and learned how to do that?”

The real definition of failure lies in never trying; crawling into your routine until you can finally justify your actions by saying, “I’m too old.”

Long ago I developed a mantra and have told it to many people along the way who also have had people in their own lives who had opinions about how they should live their life, even though it wasn’t theirs to judge. “If you don’t like what I’m doing, don’t watch me do it.” I don’t care what other people think about my life, especially when they don’t want to be part of it.

I’ve never owned a home, nor have I wanted to. I want to be able to leave when I’m ready, and I don’t want to have to repair the roof or other maintenance.

I want to be able to choose how I spend my day. Will I ever “grow up?” I seriously hope not. Life should be enjoyed. If you take care of yourself you have a better chance of not letting age bring you down where all you have to talk about with your friends are your medical problems. I will go out with a fight.

Every day you wake up is a day you can fill to the top with things of value. You are what you think. You attract people in your life who appreciate who you are.  If they don’t appreciate you get rid of them. They aren’t worth the trouble. The people I grew up with became people I couldn’t be around any more. Or rather, they couldn’t be around me. My mother told me more than once, “You scare them.” Inner strength and confidence makes some people uncomfortable. So I was kicked out of family get-togethers because maybe I’ll say something outside of the platitudes of talking about jobs and weather. I also hate gossiping about the perceived misfortunes of others.

Everyone has a choice about how they are going to live their lives. Some are waiting to die hoping for happiness later. I choose to be happy now – or die trying!

<<< >>>

sonniquick.net – my main music website. You can subscribe here to my mailing list for music and music videos

3 Comments

  1. It isn’t always a clear choice surely ? My parents were political refugees from South Africa who settled in England because I was born there and they wanted me to be educated there after living all round Europe as a toddler . So for me following in my parents’ footsteps meant assuming that the world was my oyster , taking part in all the exciting grassroots political activism of the ’60s & ’70s and now feeling trapped in an increasingly racist and insular post-Brexit UK at almost 65 (tomorrow) . But I think the contrast you draw was also not so applicable in the UK I grew up in . A close friend (even tho’ an evangelical Christian !) thought she had married young but actually it was after living in Austria for a year , going to university far from home , training as a teacher and working as one for a further year . Nowadays haven’t the global financial problems changed the taken for granted options for most of us ?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, it wouldn’t apply to a lot of people because there are so many beginnings. I grew up in the same house until I graduated. I went to school with samek kids. I went to my 45th hs reunion last year. Some moved and some stayed. I wrote this right after my mother left after visiting. The same accusations come up every time. I don’t talk to either of my sisters because they are so judgemental. But of course it is my fault, not theirs, she says. I left. I was letting off steam without getting too personally negative. I had great childhood so try to remember them in that context. Some people get bitter as they age so let them alone.

      Like

    2. I know it’s been getting more and more racist in th UK. Have you been to my other blog: mynameisjamie.net? It is on racism, the prison system and criminal justice. I know the UK is very similar in many ways. Since nothing good ever comes from it you’d think people my try different approach to solving it – but greed is too firmly inbedded. Who cares who they hurt.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s