AN EMPTY BOX OF GET WELL CARDS

AN EMPTY BOX OF GET WELL CARDS

 

I opened up my box of cards to lovingly remember

The cards from those who cared about me and wanted me to know

I was important to them in their lives . . . Love, the sender

The sender had no name, no address on the card

Who was I to no name was signed below

I sat and thought and tried to think, to remember hurt is hard

I looked down at empty hands because there was no card

 

I sat and held my empty box pretending it was full

It was instead my mother’s box which held the love for her

Showered with their love, she caressed them one and all

She looked at every single one, a smile upon her face

Thinking of how loved she was, the memories recalled

Feeling happy she was loved because she is my mother

Not thinking how I’d feel because my family didn’t care

enough to send a card to me, my face had been erased

 

“Why?” you ask, “was this so, did they not care for you?”

“Why do you think they pulled away and wouldn’t show they cared?”

A tragedy to be alone when there was one thing they could do

In all these years they never tried, with so much life to share?

“Why did they turn? What did you do for them to cause such pain?”

They listened to only one side, my mother’s truth for her

My side had no meaning, it was me who was to blame

Why add my truth, hers was enough, don’t take both sides and stir

 

The whole truth just might change their minds, a need to say “I’m sorry”

With crossed arms, chin in the air, no lips can say those words

Admit that you just might be wrong? Not you. You never could.

“I must protect our mom from you, I will NOT hear your story

If you live or if you die, I won’t be by your side

Neither will my husband, son or daughter so don’t worry

We’d rather you just go away, be rid of you for good

We won’t call or send a card, no one cares if you cried.”

 

She said, “I stand by what I know – the words our mother spoke.

She told me she was hurt by you, I can’t support you both

I don’t care what really happened, why mom said the things she did

You’re on your own, I do not care no matter what your truth

It’s too late to change my mind. Believe me, there’s no hope

I do not care.  Not worth my time. I have better things to do

With all my friends who love me, who needs love from you?”

 

I take my empty box of cards and put it on the floor

Crush it underneath my feet, smash it on all sides

Throw it in the trash outside, hoping not try once more.

I know fully what I’ve lost, I wonder if they do.

I know myself, what I have to give, this isn’t said with pride

I know the person I’ve become, was it worth it to burn

all future possibilities becoming future smiles

remember future time, now past, but never happened. Never learned.

 

No music ever written to celebrate a day

No poems ever written to engrave a deep felt thought

No picture ever taken and shared with love and smiles

Never sent across the world no matter what the miles

No victory of children’s growth, funny smiles or love to share

No sadness felt when things go wrong. No one knows to say, “I care.”

Birth, aging, sickness, death. The cycle all life follows

Who will hear when you have something to say.

The echo sounds ring hollow

 

 

 

 

4 Comments

  1. Oh, my, very powerful. The poem awoke many emotions in me because many of us have family issues that haunt yet could never be resolved. We just have to keep on. Fortunately, writing is often cathartic and clarifying. Excellent poem, Sonni…

    Liked by 1 person

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