How My Mother Paid Her Dues

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Sitting in the chair by the window

Sitting in a chair with big wheels

Thinking of her recent past

moving fast, but now so slow

not knowing how much memory aging steals

It was just a little while ago

she fed her cat and dressed herself

The loss of pride, she had no choice

she had to let it go

She swallows hard and fights the tears

and says this isn’t hell

She feels grateful for the life she had

no one will ever know

the pain inside, the fight for life

can she find a place to be?

 She doesn’t know how to live

within these closing walls

Look to the right, look to the left 

They think she doesn’t see

They stick their arms out just in case

her body sags and falls

Make sure she’s safe, feed her meals

call her once a day

Do what they can with their busy lives

there  isn’t time for more

Everyone keeps living, they’ll be there soon

she knows they’ll say

Not understanding years are short

The door will close for good one day

When life demands you pay your dues

your choices paid the toll

The effects from how you lived your life

stare you in the face

She laughs, how useless are your fears

if you trust what you have learned

the mystic law, the parchment scroll

she vows to find in these last years

new memories sewn on happy lace

aging gracefully, appreciation for living

Dedicated to my mother – Wilma Fritz b. 1933

I am who I am because of you. Thank you.

9 thoughts on “How My Mother Paid Her Dues

  1. I did get the reply but it’s Mercury Retrograde and strange communication stuff is happening. I also wrote you a private message, in reply to yours, on FB but looks like you never received it. Can send it again if it’s not wandering the aethers 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m going through comments to see if I missed any and found yours. Since my accident with my arm some days is been hard to do everything with my nook on my lap. It’s slow and I get frustrated. I do email last and I’ve gotten way behind so if you want to send something again I’ll look for it.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I saw my mom today. Since my shoulder and elbow she’s been at my sisters house a couple hours away. but today I pulled the post up with the poem and played the piano piece. The picture of her on the bottom was taken 2years ago after Christmas dinner. She say there in her wheel chair and cried. The first 7 weeks after she came home after her stroke I stayed with her to care for her. It really affected her right side – right down the middle from half her throat to half her bowels. Then I fell and needed surgery and my sister has her at her house. I could see she was tired and her husbandhasn’t been supportive. When I get out of my cast we are going to share care. Two weeks here and two weeks there. Full time and you can’t get anything else done. There is a benefit to this. My sister and I weren’t speaking. We were born on different planets and it hasn’t been pleasant at all. Now we have to work together. After my mom read the poem she said she was so fortunate to have two daughters who loved her so much. So often the elderly have no one our they get stuck in a

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      1. So glad that your mom is still able to “be” there with you. I always wanted a sister so I wonder why some do not get along. But of course, as I well know, not all family members are actually friends. I feel estranged from a lot of my relatives. But I am genuinely happy that you and your sister will be working together and helping your mother. Difficult, I know, but lots to learn (and teach!) each other.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. My sister isn’t a bad person we just don’t
        have anything in common. She’s not very deep and prefers conversations that are shallow -surface chit chat. I don’t chit chat
        well. I was gone from home for a long time and we didn’t talk much unless I went home to visit. Then I got very sick and moved back for a liver transplant. I thought I’d have family support but I didn’t. I have quite a bit of family. She resented me being there and a lot of nasty gossip was spread with her help. My husband did everything to take of me. I was bed bound for 2years. I was ignored. Is been a very deep sore for me. She maintains she didn’t do anything wrong and just more on. Is hard to know what to do. What if someday something happened to her and she needed help. We get back in life what we give. There are effects for every cause. It will be interesting to see where this leads because it will takeboth of us to care for our mother. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe there are lessons to be learned here.

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    1. It’s definitely hard. Sometimes things happen that speed it up. She was very active. The stoke knocked the stuffing out of her but most of all it hurt her confidence. Mentally it made Swiss cheese of her memories. But she has people who care and there are so many elderly who don’t. It’s just hard all around.

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