Up Late by Alonza Thomas

einstein quote

UP LATE

I remember being young, young and care free.
A simple little boy, that loved simple things.
Loyal to a flaw with no one to love me.
I’m kinda nervous…. but please, let me explain me.

I never felt so alone in all of my existence.
No joke, my emotions came second like scottie pippen
My life a whirlwind, I’m along for the ride.
Bury My Face In Pillows So They Wouldn’t See Me cry.
If I had it my way they would have to watch me die.
The pain is deep inside, Lord knows I wanna survive.
My mental state of mind is numb I feel defeated.
Wasn’t hard, I was a puzzle that would never be completed.
13 wasn’t hard for manipulation to mislead me.
I wake up from a sleep. So nervous that he near me.
anxious like student in class taking finals.
and my eyes never focus on much. They run wild.
Right now I feel naked. Exposing all of my wounds.
And I swear I feel like a fool.

One piece to the puzzle…

by Alonza Thomas

9 thoughts on “Up Late by Alonza Thomas

  1. Anonymous says:

    Alonza, I am inspired by your by your willingness to survive, when it would be so easy to give up, thank you for sharing your wisdom, I am humbled.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I read the story and was again intrigued with where children wind up when there is calamity and duvision in the household amongst children and their caregivers. I never committed a crime but because of a situation that arose in my house . I also wandered away, and as a result I became an impregnated teen. As a direct result of feeling unwanted ; it was easy to believe that this young man who always expressed an interest in me for 3 years. Point of the story is this young man’s life Alonza and my life were ruined in two separate ways but it was a direct result of no formidable communication between caregivers and their charges. Already facing abandonment from my birth mother at birth I always faced a travesty of feelings that left me feeling vulnerable. I did not physically rob anyone or attempt to but oftentimes I feel like I robbed my daughter of a better life because of my youthfulness And, I also felt robbed of my youth when instead of teenage fun , I was frequently making Similac bottles goung to Wic appts. etc I became an adult immediately, My life would be changed forever.I was also forced to give up my dream of becoming a pediatric doctor at Temple University I experienced pain and feelings of unworthiness leading to depression and belligerent behaviors sometimes. But God is a merciful God Be healed Alonza in the mighty name of Jesus

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Neecy, how is your life today? How old is your daughter now? Your life reminds me of my daughter, who at 16 (14 really) seemed hell bent on making bad decisions, leaving the house for days at a time and running with a rough crowd. I lost so much sleep. She had a baby at 16 and like you lost the years that were supposed to be fun. That man has been in and out of prison (currently in) That baby will be 19 in march and he’s enlisting after graduation. She really was a good mom (drill sargent) .She went on to have 3 more children, each on with father. The youngest is 7. She made life hard for herself but she by no means a neglectful mom. You haven’t been to my other blog mmynameisjamie.net. I write about a man in prison. Jamie Cummings, a father of another of her sons. My last post was about the children of inmates. I won’t say anymore about it. You can find it at http://mynameisjamie.net. I hope to see you ther

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  3. Sonniq,
    It is indeed good poem and enjoyable experience to read it.
    By the way, recently I have published one very informative and useful post, if you have spare time and leave your feedback on it, I will be grateful to you.
    Wishing you all the best………………..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The man who wrote this poem – go to Youtube and search for a video called “The Stick Up Kid” which was aired on Frontline. You will understand better what he is saying. He had a life no young person should have ever had.

      Liked by 1 person

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