I read this when I woke up this morning before I even got up out of bed. Then I read it again. This is what I have been telling people in my life who have no concept of how to communicate, or even care to find out how to do it. It is so much easier to not try. No one talks. Not really. There is really only one person who knows every single thing about me because she listens and doesn’t judge, and that is my mother. I am so fortunate. They are in their own little bubble they don’t want anyone to break. Go about your day. Pretend everything’s okay. You know how so many people you know ask you how you are doing and you say okay? And you’re not? But you don’t tell them because you know they don’t really care? I’m not talking about the girl at the grocery store. I’m talking about your “friends”.
I communicate through written word and I use usually use a thousand words when twenty is all the other person can comprehend. I can’t really talk about how I feel because after ten words the other person is too busy trying to think of a retort to actually listen to what I’m saying. Because of this, I write. I get to think about what I’m saying and try to write in a way that the person, or persons, can understand. My mother recently told me that I scare people because my writings are too intense. They don’t know how to respond. I was told that I should be lighter – and shorter. I find I can’t do that. I can’t change the way I communicate because someone only has the capacity to talk about the weather and their children. I’m not interested in a relationship of value if the talk never gets below the skin. So many people don’t really “talk”, even to their “best friends”. By talking, in my case I also mean writing. If I have something to say, and you can’t be bothered to use any kind of communication to find out who I am, then what value is that relationship? The kiss kiss, hug hug at family gatherings with people you don’t see until the next family gathering is not my idea of having good friends. But I find that most people in families aren’t very good friends with each other either. And when I try and get blown off I get upset. If you don’t like each other enough to talk to each other between Christmas and the 4th of July, well, that’s pretty boring. It’s a complete facade. We laugh and joke and pretend all is okay, but it isn’t. Probably never will be, either.
Four years ago I moved from Key West to Pa because I a severe illness and needed a liver transplant. I thought I would have a loving family that would help give me support. What I walked into was the complete opposite of that and at times made me regret moving back home into a place I had to once again experience snow!! I hate cold!
I had to do a lot of “soul searching” to examine who I was and why I operated on a completely different level than most people I know. I really started watching people and the behavior. What has helped has been 26 years of practicing Nichiren Buddhism, http://www.sgi-usa.org
Belinda and I here present our slightly different takes on that oh so simple, but oh so complex topic – presence. What it is and what it means to us. In life’s moments, in life’s conversations and of course in life’s relationships.
The Charisma take and the Idiot take on the moment and being in it, or not 😀
This is the first in my “Team Charisma World People” guest blogger series. Belinda’s done me proud, thank you Mrs Idiot … and your “Mr Lion” art, what can I say, awesome, if I could like him twice I would 😀
Belinda’s been blogger friend of mine for a while now. She in my humble opinion is a very talented writer and artist, and a pretty cool human being to boot. So I’m very happy to have her write for us, her art was an unexpected bonus.
What it’s about :
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